I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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