very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
