Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize