I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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