Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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