Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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