My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
two words: eviction party
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
