me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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