all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
