Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
