So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
