Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
