Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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