Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize