dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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