What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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