me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We named our party play list daddy issues
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
