found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
