Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
