what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
