She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
