I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
