actually, I'm a sock model
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I wear drunk well.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
