Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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