If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am one with the molecules
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
