Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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