The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
