I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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