..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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