Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im drinking this country out of the recession.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
