A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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