I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
