Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
