my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
