We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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