Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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