There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
