the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There was a lot of him and a little penis
organizing the empties. That sober.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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