he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
