i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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