Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
