this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
