Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
