Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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