As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize