people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
