Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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