You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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