they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
