dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
