Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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