this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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