I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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