Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
