everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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