Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
