youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
