i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
