He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize