I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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