Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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