I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
