u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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