Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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