birth control should be required to get into college
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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