i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
