I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
