awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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