i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Pappa wants mamma naked
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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