Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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