I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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