i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
