he puts the penis in happiness.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My ass is underappreciated
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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