I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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