This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
