actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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