I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
