eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
